


The Trouble With Mistletoe

by LeafHatesPears



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Christmas, F/F, M/M, Oh, also i generally ship mcspirk but hey, and so they try to bring them together via mistletoe, and there is a ban on xenophobic language on bones, and throw a party with his nurses, bc bones likes every excuse to drink, bc i don't like, but whoa! what's that? mistletoe? oh no doctor now we have to kiss, on the enterprise, spock is very cunning, the triumvirate ships it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27561346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeafHatesPears/pseuds/LeafHatesPears
Summary: I love Christmas, and so does the sickbay crew.So now Jim, Spock and Bones try to use traditional methods to bring the head nurse and the chief on communications together.But somehow, putting up mistletoe everywhere seems to backfire,,, kind of
Relationships: Christine Chapel/Nyota Uhura, Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	The Trouble With Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> I just love christmas, and I also really love Star Trek, so this is my second Star Trek Christmas Fic  
> (The last one was DS9, the next one'll be TNG)  
> This one is a little less fluffy, but I still hope you enjoy

"This is highly illogical. How could a single man supply every child on the planet with a multitude of presents in a single night?"

So this is what happens when you invite the only Vulcan of the whole star ship to the annual Christmas party he and his staff would throw in the sickbay (given that they have no current patients).

"See, that's just the kind of damn hyperlogical comment that I feared inviting a... bowlcutted person such as yourself would bring to the party."  
"Wow, I'm impressed, Bones. I'd half-expected another xenophobic quip out of you."

Now Jim was in on this. Great.   
It's true, though, Leonard had really tried to better himself after Jim had asked him to stop with the racist and xenophobic insults. Although it was getting really difficult to find any other ways to deflect his ongoing crush on the not-quite-human, Bones had managed to work around the more offensive ones.

"Well it's Cristmas Eve. I've got to try and not be naughty until boxing day, as noone needs coal in this time and age."

And so the three of them chatted on about anything but work, until Nyota started with her impressive performance of "All I Want For Christmas Is You", which couldn't be more obviously directed at his best nurse.  
Honestly, when would the dear soul finally realise that her feelings were reciprocrated? He just couldn't take one more day between Jim's increasingly more suicidal ideas in which he would wait with his nurses for the next near-death experience their Captain would get himself into with nurse Chapel wailing on about her apparently slim chances with the Lieutenant.

There was only one thing that might save them all now:  
Mistletoe.

He shared that idea with the rest of the group, and so Jim went to refill everyone's eggnogg (they even had found a vegan option in a vulcan grocery shop, god bless these pointy eared weirdos) and he and Spock would replicate a few twigs of mistletoe and hang them on every doorway the two women were most likely to use in those next few hours.

The main entrance of the infirmary, the lab, the toilets, the turbolifts and the entrance to the bridge.  
However, Leonard had definitely not thought this through.

When they came back from the bridge, what did they have to use?  
The turbolifts.  
And what did they do there?  
Hang up mistletoe, like two complete idiots.

That damn half-vulcan should have been clever enough to predict that.  
"Well, Doctor, it appears that we ran into our own trap. I myself find it hard to break a tradition, so if you are not terribly oppesed to it, I will kiss you now."  
Too stunned to answer, Leonard simply nodded. 

That damn half-vulcan had been clever enough to predict that!  
Seeing this as enough consent, Spock first took Leonards hand in his (and put their fingers in a vulcan kiss, but god he hoped that they would do the human part too) and then leaned in to bring their lips together.

Touch telepath. A real clever way of making sure your parter is actually consenting and not just afraid of saying- oh my god I guess we're using tounge now.

That could impossibly be Spock's first human kiss, which surprised Leonard, as he had thought vulcans had these mating cycles. And Spock hadn't even been on earth for the last times he had that.

"That is true, Leonard; however there were a few human boys visiting Vulcan when I was in my... rebellious teens, as you would call them."  
"Damnit, Spock, that mind reading shit is creeping me out."

That was a partial lie.

"Then what is the reason for you to keep holding my hand?"  
I think you know why."  
"Indeed I do"  
Spock answered before leaning in again.

\-----------------

When they came back to the party, shirts rumpled and hair messy, they knew they had a really long lecture by Jim coming their way. Thankfully the Captain was way too drunk to actually make a point, or to notice their flushed faces and the covered hand holding which under normal circumstances everyone would instantly connect to the way Spock's parents used to walk around.

"Wher've you guyzzz been? You completely miss'd it! It worksh! The shtupid mistletoe plan! I'm tellin' ya, they went to the bathr'm together and then I yell'd "mistletoe!" and they jus', jus'... Made out! Right there! Isn't that crazy?"  
"Yes, that is a highly illogical reaction to discovering mistletoe above oneself. I would never have thought such an outcome possible."

Careful, if you make it too obvious the more sober part of the crew might get suspicious.

"Jim, I think you had enough. How about you focus on going to bed in the next... Bloody hell, it's 0200 hours already? I've got a shift in like, five hours! Guess I better get some shut-eye..."

He'd never been terribly good at lying, but thankfully his audience was just a drunk and horny human and a sober, but probably even more horny Half-Vulcan. Who he was dead set on screwing tonight. Isn't life something?  
Leonard could make out a barely audible chuckle from Spock, who had apparently read his mind. Literally. Still a hard thing to wrap his head around.

"Yes Doctor, I believe so do I. I will therefore accompany you to your quarters, since they are in close proximity to mine. Captain."

Jim nodded in the same way he used to non-verbally dismiss someone, and so they moved on to the quarters of the main staff.

"Now that's a hard one, eh? I share a bathroom with Scotty, which would mean that you'd have to sneak back to yours tomorrow for a quick shower, but you share a bedroom wall with Jim, and I really don't want him to listen in..."  
"The walls are soundproof. We will therefore use my sleeping accomodations."  
How the hell did he know that?  
"As the Captain frequently has guests over to either drink or copulate, I have specifically requested it prior to this mission."  
"You know what, Spock? You astound me."  
That actually made him smile? Damn, so this was the side Leonard had always wondered if the other actually had it or not. And wow, was he glad that he got to experience its existence firsthand now.  
"Thank you, Leonard. I hope to do so even more after tonight."

\-----------------

Scotty had many reasons for loving his job. He got to hang out with machines all day (they were less complicated than humans and far more interesting), he served on the flagship of the federation captained by one of the most daring people in the universe, which meant he never got bored, and he was one of the few people who wore red to away missions and survived.  
But even if that all wasn't the case, checking the CCTV footage every morning for someone tampering with the ship he so dearly loved would be enough to never want him to quit his job.

"Scotty to bridge: Captain, ye're going to want to have a look at this, sir!"  
"What is it, Scotty?"  
"Ye better come down and look for yerself. Scotty out."  
The Captain practically burst through the doors to engineering where Scotty could barely hold it in anymore.  
"So, what happened? Are we in any danger?"  
"No sir, not us, but I'm afraid if they keep on going like this, our doctahr's goin' ta have ta treat himself for serious bruises!"  
He pointed to the screen, where Spock was currently ramming the good Doctor into a wall of the turbolift, the two of them kissing rather furiously, with the computer of the turbolift repeatedly asking them to request a deck already.  
"Well, it seems like they had a fun night. Maybe you better delete this footage, Mr. Scott."  
"Aye sir."

While the two men silently agreed to keep this quiet for the moment, the soon as Spock and Bones announced that they were officially dating, they couldn't help but spread this story through the galaxy.   
Christmas really is a magical time.


End file.
